My Mom: A different kind of rolemodel

           On my way to work, the news pointed out that it was Friday the 13th.  I hadn't noticed, but then again, I am oblivious a lot.  I just don't see it as any worse than any other day.  In fact, my third son was born on the 13th and I classify that as a pretty darn good day.  Have I had bad Friday the 13ths?  Of course, but I have also had bad Monday the 1sts, Tuesday the 10ths, etc.  So why does Friday the 13th get such a bad rap?  I'll let you look up the history because I really don't want to spend the next few days summarizing it, besides, I am sure the History Channel will have something on it today.  What about you, do you consider Friday the 13th a bad day, or just another Friday?
             Yesterday, I sent a homage out to my dad.  It was what I felt at the time and it hasn't changed.  I feel the need to include my mother though.  You see, she was a role model to me in a different way.  My mom was a registered nurse before she had her first child.  When she became a mother she decided to become a housewife.  For those of you who think that a woman debases herself by becoming a housewife, I wish you could have met her.  By devoting herself to raising her kids and supporting her husband, she taught me that making money is not the only or necessarily best way to support a family.  Being there is even more important.  By shaping your child's life on a day to day basis, you have a hand in making sure that they become a productive and respected part of society.  The idea that men make women slaves by keeping them in the home is ludicrous.  Women who stay at home and raise their kids are showing love of the highest degree.  Think about it.  Love, by definition, is self sacrifice.  This means you put those you love above yourself.  By choosing to place you kids over your own desires, you have shown them what love truly is and I can't think of anything better to teach your kids.
               I say this, not to deride those that chose a career over staying at home, but to point out that the choice to give up a career to raise children is not debasing, but elevating.  My mother continually proved that.  I can't think of a single person mother interacted with that didn't respect her.  The neat thing is, she treated everyone with an equal respect. 
               You don't realize just how much of an influence someone has until they are gone.  You see, my mother died when I was 13.  It was hard on all of us.  But I want to tell you of something that happened 3 years or so before that.  My mom died of abdominal cancer.  She fought it for about three years.  Before that, she had a very active role in our church.  She taught the Shepperd's class, the class for the handicapped, and they loved her.  You could walk by the classroom during Sunday school and hear the joy in their voices.  If you looked in from the back during the lesson, they would listen attentively to her every word, just as she listened to theirs.  She knew each of their names, what made them special, and so much more about each of them.  She was more than a teacher to them, she was their friend.  When she got sick, she had to give up teaching since she was usually weak from the Chemo.  Every week at church, we had her students come up and ask about her and when she would return.  This went on for the entire time she was sick.  A lot of those special students lived in a community for them ten miles from the church and the church sent a van to pick them up every Sunday.  When mom died, we asked if they wanted to come and instead of the usual single 15 passenger van, we had to send 2 on 2 trips.  It seems, that there were quite a few who had come intermittently while mom was teaching and didn't return when she was unable to continue.  They filled three full pews and cried almost as hard as we did.
           Mom's funeral is one of the few times I ever remember our church being filled to overflowing.  You never realize how many people someone touches until they are gone.  The most amazing thing to me happened while I was home on leave a couple of years ago.  I was having a conversation with my brother in law and we were having a frank discussion about our wives.  He told me, "your mom must have been a remarkable woman to have raised such a great wife as my wife.  I can see her strength in your sister and really wish I could have met her."  This blew me away.  Nearly twenty years after her passing, and she is still influencing people and making them want to meet her.  I can only hope that I have half the influence and respect that she did.  Who do I want to see most when I get to heaven?  My mom is at the top of that list.  I hope that the line to meet Jesus is really long so I have that much more time to spend with my mom and introduce her to everyone she has touched. 
              Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

Tragedy and compassion.

            I am so excited.  This weekend is the final camping weekend of the year and I get to spend it with my church family.  Should be a great time.  We still have a lot to do to get the camper packed and I still have shopping to do, but We are so close.
            Now it is time to get serious.  For a couple of weeks I have been keeping a secret my sister asked me to keep (Sis, if you read this and I am wrong on anything, please let me know and keep the updates coming).  I kept it off of the Internet, for reasons I will detail below, but shared it verbally with my church and friends here.  My younger sister and her family is going through a really rough time.  They live in an area that has a high gang population.  My brother in law is the pastor of a church in the middle of this area.  The gangs there have decided they don't like the fact that he is offering alternatives to gang life and have decided that he needs to leave.  He is of a different mind.  What began with midnight calls and knocking on the door and running, escalated to texts with direct threats against their sons.  They went to the police and were told that the mayor didn't want the police to address the gang issue as it would draw attention to it and thus hurt tourism.  Due to the threats and inactivity of the local police, my sister was forced to leave her home with her children while things, hopefully, cooled down.  This left my brother in law alone with his ministry.  To make it worse, after my sister left, the house and church were both tagged with gang graffiti.  Then my brother in law had a log thrown at him from a moving car.  The log struck him in the jaw, knocking loose some teeth.  While he was lucky his jaw wasn't broken, he now needs a root canal that he can't afford due to various reasons.  As before, the police are still silent on this. 
         Now for the reason I kept this silent until now.  When my sister went to the police the first time, they saw an increase in the threatening activity, including pictures of her boys sent to her via text with threats accompanying them.  For this reason, she wanted the story and her location kept off the Internet as she was afraid of reprisal.  These gangs have not relented and my sister and her family are at the end of their ropes.  The reason I chose to write this today is because, she finally felt comfortable enough to share it via Face Book yesterday.   They need whatever support you can give them and I send them my prayers daily.
        I need to add that I have the deepest respect and love for my sister and brother in law.  Through out this the thought of giving up on their mission and leaving the church for their own safety has been the last thing they want.  If not for their boys, I believe the both of them would still be out there and spreading God's love.  If there is any Christian you should look up to, my sister and her husband are two of the best.  Sis, I love you and wish I could be there for you.  Thank you and have a wonderful weekend.