The first day of school.

          The school year is starting again.  Today is the first day of school for my family here in western Washington.  While the kids debate whether to mourn the end of summer vacation or if school should be celebrated, mom is not so quietly dancing in the corner.  Those of you with school age children understand the sentiment.  As much as you love the pains in our rears, by month 2 of summer vacation you are ready for them to be out of your house.  You look forward to having the house free of that many mouths screaming for attention, reduced noise level that doesn't mean you should worry, and one less voice at 10 am asking, "what's for lunch?"
          I know my wife is jumping for joy.  She actually smiled when she asked me to remind her to set her alarm.  The kids, on the other hand, are indifferent.  They get to see their friends, but they are back in school.  I remember sarting off each school year with a bit of confusion as I had to learn all about new teachers and new classrooms.  Then the first day actually started and I had to jump into learning.  The funny thing is that is all I really remember about the first day of school.  I look forward to hearing how the day went with them when I get home.
          I am still a bit out of it so I think I will call this post done for now.  Thanks for reading and, as always have a great day.

Defining success in a round about way.

                  I know I eluded to a well written article that would incorporate facts and figures and be neat and concise.  I know that is what I promised.  This obviously isn't it.  I am still gathering data and looking into the post I eluded to, but it may take longer than expected.  It isn't that there isn't a wealth of data, in fact, quite the opposite, there is almost to much.  But that is not the point of this post.
                  As I sat here doing research and surfing the internet (more of the latter than the former I am embarrassed to admit), my mind started wandering as it tends to do and I got to thinking about human successes and how they are achieved.  I realized that worthwhile successes either come about through sheer luck (miracles if you lean that way) or hard work and perseverance.  We have no control over the sheer luck aspect and, let's face it, if you are waiting for sheer luck to bring you success, then you will be waiting a while.  In fact, I would wager that, usually, when sheer luck strikes, the success has been worked toward and was accomplished through the sheer luck.  What do I mean?  Simply put, while experimenting (the hard work) an inventor discovers something unrelated to what he was working on (the success).
                   So what am I getting at, you ask.  Simply this, in order to succeed, you have to go against your human nature.  Human nature is to find the easy way out.  Human nature says, I want the reward, but don't make me ask for it.  You have to go outside of what it is you want to do and go further.  Think on it.  Was there anything that you wanted, worked for and got?  Wasn't that thing more cherished and celebrated than the thing you were given for free? 
                  I admit, I am lazy and really don't want to go outside of myself.  I don't like doing extra work and tend to wait until the last minute to do many things.  The fact is, that my biggest achievements and the things I remember the most, are those things that I went after and clung to tenaciously to achieve.  Those things that I was able to concentrate on and do to the best of my ability and hold up as what I could do.  It was those successes that I like to look on.  The stuff I got lucky with, I really don't remember (that may also be because I don't get lucky to often).
                 Ask yourself this, am I waiting on luck, or chasing success?  The first does nothing, the second gets you there.  The funny thing is, when you chase success, you may not end up where you thought you were headed.  The great thing about that is that the new place may be better than where you thought you wanted to go. 
                    I am not talking about monetary success alone.  Whatever it is you want success at requires effort.  If you want a long and successful marriage, you have to work at it.  You can't just sit back and let it happen, you'll end up with a roommate instead of a spouse.  If you want your kids to grow up right and happy, you have to work at it.  You have to discipline them, teach them, and spend time with them.  If you sit on the couch and ignore them, they become the kids you complain about at the store.  You get the picture.  If you are living life under the assumption that you deserve something because of who you are for no effort, then you need to reevaluate your life.  People who believe that have a name, spoiled brats.  If you define yourself by the success of others (Do you know who my daddy is?;  I work for ___), then you are a nobody.
                    I may have ranted and gone off the dep end a bit here, but there is a worthwhile point.  Your successes define you.  I hope that people can recognize me as a good husband and father and that that is how they define me.  I don't want who I am to be defined as a good sailor or a good inspector and nothing else.  Don't get me wrong, I would appreciate those definitions, but the definition I strive for is great husband and father.  How are you defined?  How do you want to be defined?  Do they match?  If not, why not?  What can you do to make it happen?
                   That's all for today.  Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

Busy, busy, busy

                I have taken a look at my schedule and the next month or so is so full of stuff that I won't have a lot of time to post.  I will post when I can, so don't despair (not that you would).  I just can't seem to find anything worth talking about for extended posts so I am just going to wing it for now.  This weekend was interesting.  I had duty Sunday so was completely unavailable.  Yesterday, the family and I went out and got shopping for school supplies done.  We also bought what we needed to launch some model rockets with the boys.  David has his built, Mathew will get his built this afternoon, and John should be able to finish his as well (John's is actually a higher level one).  I look forward to launching them sometime this week. 
                   As I said, my schedule is pretty full.  Next weekend I have a campout with the boys, which I am looking forward to.  Next week, I am in RTAP class.  That is a program for the military to help us transition to civilian life.  It teaches us how to write resumes and translate what we do in the military to skills needed in the civilian world.  Over all it is a great class that will help me as I move closer to retirement.  I will then be one week away from my trip to the grand canyon.  As I said, I have a pretty full schedule. 
                     Not much else worth saying, so I guess it is time to sign off.  Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

Another answer

           What a week.  The Fourth was great.  Had a good time with family and fireworks.  I managed to end the day with the same number of appendages as I started with, which is a good thing.  Even better, my boys had a good day and got to light fireworks as well.  So much fun.  My mother-in-law and niece had a good time as well and leave tomorrow.  They will be missed but it will also be nice to be able to take a single vehicle to go somewhere as a family again.  Overall, it has been a good couple of weeks with them. 
            Not much to say today.  Didn't have any news story catch my eye.  No discussions worth rehashing.  In all, a quiet weekend.  Guess that means I get to post another answer.
            This one is pretty quick.

As a boy, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Like all boys, I went through several stages of what I wanted to be.  Early on I wanted to be a pilot.  This was re-enforced when I found out my father was in the Air Force, as it sparked my interest in airplanes.  I had a large collection of aircraft cards.  They were about 5” x 7” in size and had pictures on one side (some were photos and others were drawings) and the airplane’s specifications and weaponry, as well as a brief description of when the plane saw service.  I spent hours going over those pictures, dreaming of being a pilot.  I loved the idea of flying.  I really didn’t care what, I just wanted to fly. 

As I entered my middle school, I discovered that, in order to fly in the armed forces, you had to have near perfect eye sight.  Since I was already in glasses at this point, I realized flying an airplane for the Air Force was out of the question.  At this time I was already taking piano lessons (I started when I was in 4^th grade), and so I adjusted my dreams.  I decided I wanted to write music.  I loved playing around on the piano (practicing was not really that fun after all) and making up music.  I guess I still have that dream to a certain extent; I just don’t have the discipline or training to follow through.  Looking back, I realize just how important that practice was.  Had I put more of an effort into actually playing my lessons, I might have actually been able to write a full song. 

I had other fleeting dreams as well.  I dreamed of being a fireman, a police officer, and an astronaut.  I played at being a soldier, a ventriloquist, and a movie star.  I dreamed of being rich and famous (though in all honesty I was a bit vague on how I got there.)  The point is, have a dream.  Find out what it takes to follow that dream, then go for it.  There is nothing you can’t do if you just pick up your feet and move towards it.  Sure, you may find that it takes a lot of work, but it can be so satisfying.  Just remember, no matter how tough that dream may be to achieve, you have my support. 

There is an old joke that goes: “how do you eat an elephant?”  The answer:  “One bite at a time.”  The same is true of your dreams.  Take them one bite at a time and keep chewing.  Eventually, you’ll look back with a full life and say, “Whew, what a mouthful, but man was it satisfying!”

       Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

My biggest mistake.

              What a great weekend.  We have a new septic tank, we are now just waiting on the drain field.  That should finish up this afternoon and then we have to reseed the yard.  Saturday, we got to spend some family time on a much needed family outing on a bike ride.  Then we got to spend Sunday afternoon with friends playing games and sharing our lives.  What a great week end.  Of course Monday follows that, but that can't be helped.
              I can't help but feel rejuvenated after all that.  Even though I was spent after the bike ride, I felt great.  There was a smile on the entire family's faces even though you could see they were tired (at least the adults, the kids wanted to go again).  We thoroughly enjoyed it.
             I love being able to spend time with my sons and time near them is time well spent.  That being said, I think that for the rest of today's post I will share another excerpt from my answers for my sons.  This one is particularly close to home.

10-3 What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?  What can I learn from it?

I think of so many mistakes I’ve made when I am asked this question that it is almost impossible to answer.  I will give it my best though.  First, allow me to clarify something.  To me, a mistake is an error in judgment or a decision made based on faulty information.  It is not an intentional action nor is it something you plan.  While it would be wrong to rob a bank and a horrible decision, it is not a mistake, it is a choice. 

So, looking at it from that point of view, I believe my biggest mistake was my choice of friends growing up.  You see, I had some of the information and, while it was my choice to be their friend, I erred in my judgment as far as what my will power was.  My friends growing up were diverse and I had two sets.  The first set is not the mistake.  They were my friends from church.  They were Christians and as far as I can tell, they lived it.  No, my mistake was the second set.  They were my friends from school and around home.  They were the ones I chose to hang out with the most.  There is that word again, chose.  My mistake wasn’t choosing to hang out with them, or even to be their friend, no, my mistake was to believe that I was strong enough by myself to resist their ungodly influence.  You see, not one of my friends from school were Christians.  They didn’t even pretend to be good.  Still, I thought I could be strong enough to resist the temptation on my own.  Boy was I wrong.

By the time I had graduated from high school, you couldn’t tell a difference between the way I acted and how my friends from school acted.  I allowed myself to be led astray and to go down a path I still regret to this day.  Because of that mistake, I walked in sin for nearly 20 years.  I told coarse jokes, made fun of others, thought only of me and my pleasure.  I refused to acknowledge God and what he wanted of me.  In my selfishness, I blamed others for my failures and felt cheated when I didn’t get my way.  I tried to live by the rules I had learned in church growing up, at least when I wanted to convince others I was good.  I pretended to be a Christian when I was home to make my father happy, but I was no longer following Christ.  It all came back to the mistake of thinking I could do it on my own, to thinking that I could be friends with ungodly people the way they wanted to be friends, without falling into their lifestyle.  While it was a bad decision to be their friend and to continue in that relationship, it was a decision, not a mistake.  We need to be clear on that.  Bad decisions are not mistakes, they are bad decisions.

What can you learn from all this?  Simply put, trust in God.  Can you have non Christian friends?  Certainly, and you should.  You must, however, be on guard at all times and realize that without God and Christian friends, it is all too easy to fall away from God and into the ungodly lifestyle of your non Christian friends.   You must also be wary of the relationship with them.  A non Christian friend should never be your first source of advice concerning, well, anything.  This is because their advice, while it may sound good, is based on worldly teachings and not on what God says.  Sure, some of their advice may even be exactly what God says, but if you rely on their advice, you will find that God has no part in your life and you will regret it.  I know I do.  You must also never let their opinion of you be a reason to do something.  God’s opinion is all that matters and an ungodly friend does not know or even hear God’s opinion.

This may seem to be a bit harsh.  It may even sound like I am against having ungodly friends.  This couldn’t be further from the truth.  Even God encourages you to have friends among non Christians.  Read Luke 5:29-32: “29 Then Levi gave Him a great feast in his own house. And there were a great number of tax collectors and others who sat down with them. ³⁰ And their scribes and the Pharisees complained against His disciples, saying, ‘Why do You eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?’
³¹ Jesus answered and said to them, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. ³² I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.’”

Jesus sat with the worst of the society with reason.  The key is to remain rooted in your belief and to not allow them to sway you.  You should also note that, while he sat with them, he did not count them as close friends, that privilege was reserved for his disciples, those who had already committed their lives to him.

In closing, the biggest mistake I ever made was not trusting God over my friends on earth.  Don’t let this happen to you.  Keep your eyes on him and you won’t go wrong.

           Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

Learning about Later.

           Ever wonder what goes through the heads of your kids?  Ever sit back and ask yourself what just happened?  Have you had those situations where you aren't exactly sure how you ended up in your current situation?  If not, then we all envy you or you just haven't figured out how to tell the truth.  Either way, you need help.
          To answer the first, you have to understand that kids haven't learned that there is such a thing as later.  Later to them means ask again as soon as we turn our back.  Later means never if we don't keep asking.  It doesn't mean, well, later.  The importance of that fact is that kids don't worry about later when an "opportunity" presents itself.  If it looks fun, interesting, or different, then the answer is always go for it.  Why?  Because there is no later to worry about.  Thus, thinking is not required.  One of our jobs as parents is to each our kids that later exists.  In this day and age, that job is a lot harder.  Instant searches, emails, text messaging, Skype, the Internet, and 24 hour news all feed the now attitude.  Why wait, get it now.
          This leads to the second question, what just happened?  This isn't due to inattention so much as distraction and the ability of kids to do amazingly complex and stupid things at astounding speeds.  Take yesterday for example.  My 10 year old was doing his homework in his room and my 4 year old was next to him playing with a Nerf gun.  The gun in question was one of the mid range models that has a magazine and takes a decent amount of strength to cock.  I saw him playing with it and thought, "there is no way this can end badly."  Mistake #1.  I then went back to cooking supper.  Mistake #2.  Two seconds later, I hear my 4 year old yell and start crying.  I run to the room and my 10 year old informs me that, not only did my 4 year old manage to cock the gun, he managed to hold it back long enough to open the de-jamming hatch and get his finger caught in it as the cocking mechanism slid forward.  After a couple minutes of crying, we got him calmed down.  He then made sure all of his brothers saw his owie and told them how much it hurt.  Then a minute later, he full on tackles his older brother.
           Which leads to question #3, How did we end up in this situation?  There really is no satisfactory answer to that question.  Think about it.  Are you really ready to admit that it was through a series of stupid decisions and miscalculations?  That is usually how you end up in those situations.  I could go into detail on a personal situation, but I think that you can figure that out for yourself.  Besides, I really don't want to relive that series of events.  Let's just say, getting home was interesting as was the intense headache that followed.
         The great thing about all this is it teaches us things.  At least for the immediate future.  I am sure my 4 year old won't be putting his finger in the clearing hatch on a Nerf gun for at least the next few days.  That doesn't mean he learned about later, just that he learned that putting your finger in that location hurts.  I think later is about perspective.  It takes years to learn the difference between a 10 minute later and a 10 week later.  We can tell our kids all about consequences and results, but unless they learn the concept of later, consequences don't mean a thing.  I try and teach my boys later every chance I get.  "Dad, can we have dessert?"  "Later."  Dad, can we go to (friends) house?"  "Later."  "Dad, can we watch a movie?"  "Later."  I really do love that word.  It is vague and yet conveys a conciseness necessary for the training of children.  At some point I will make sure I share the secret of that word, but I have a few years for that.  I guess I'll write more later.
          Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

What makes a great weekend.

           What a great weekend!  The weather was awesome (we actually had two days of sunlight in a row).  The time with the family was great and it was the Easter celebration.  In all it was wonderful.  let me break down how it went.
            I got home from duty Saturday morning and was able to enjoy a bath.  We got the boys to clean house (the wife and I did dishes and other chores while they worked) and were able to relax after lunch.  I then had softball practice at 2:30 (which turned out to be 3:00) and that became a scrimmage.  It was a great time.  Then we got home and went out for date night.  That makes any day great.  Anytime I get to spend 4 hours alone with my wife without worrying about my boys is a great time.
           Sunday morning came around I I got to work.  I was the coordinator for cooking the brunch for those serving during the morning services (about 200 people).  I was in charge of getting the food and making sure it got cooked and served.  I had a great group of people working for me and it went great.  We had a ton of food left over and everyone got fed.  I was happy with how it went.  I was also worn out when it was over.  the boys then invited a few friends over and we did an Easter egg hunt at our place and had a good time there.  Over all it was a great day.
           Then today happened.  So far, I woke up late and was about 30 minutes late to work and I have 2 appointments today.  The first is for my eyes (I need new glasses) and the second is for my Shoulder ( I need a new one of those as well, but I think I will end up with Motrin instead).  Either way it should be interesting. 
            Over all, I have to say this weekend was the best I've had in a while.  Not to many arguments and in all it was a good time.
             Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

To my son on his birthday.

           Today is special.  It just happens to be my second son's birthday.  So this post is for him.  He is my rough and tumble boy.  The one that has determined that he is in charge.  He is the first to jump in when dad decides to wrestle with his boys and the last to leave.  He is outgoing and brave.  He has his quirks as well (He is my son after all).  He finds ways to push boundaries and will find new ways to make me ask the question, "what were you thinking?"  He is also intelligent (although he denies it).  He has a knack for figuring out loop holes and exploiting them.  He is eager to learn new things (although he gets bored with them once he figures them out).  He loves to use his hands to do stuff and tries to be interested in what his dad is interested in (although in his words dad's stuff is boring).
          David is one of those boys that can make you wonder what went wrong and then prove that nothing did.  He will surprise you even if you know what is coming.  He is proof that kids will do or say the darnedest things.  He has no volume control because he must be heard.  He can also be the most stubborn of kids (but that is what my family does best).
         David takes care of his brothers and teaches them what he can.  He takes interest in his younger brothers and tries to make them smile.  He is also willing to sacrifice them to dad on occasion (when tickling or other such things are involved). 
         In all, David is David.  I know that isn't very definitive, but then again how do you define the indefinable.  He is still young and has a lot of years ahead of him so I know he will change and grow, but I know that he will grow into a man I can be proud of because I am already proud of where he is now.  Happy Birthday, David and have a great day.