I know I eluded to a well written article that would incorporate facts and figures and be neat and concise. I know that is what I promised. This obviously isn't it. I am still gathering data and looking into the post I eluded to, but it may take longer than expected. It isn't that there isn't a wealth of data, in fact, quite the opposite, there is almost to much. But that is not the point of this post.
As I sat here doing research and surfing the internet (more of the latter than the former I am embarrassed to admit), my mind started wandering as it tends to do and I got to thinking about human successes and how they are achieved. I realized that worthwhile successes either come about through sheer luck (miracles if you lean that way) or hard work and perseverance. We have no control over the sheer luck aspect and, let's face it, if you are waiting for sheer luck to bring you success, then you will be waiting a while. In fact, I would wager that, usually, when sheer luck strikes, the success has been worked toward and was accomplished through the sheer luck. What do I mean? Simply put, while experimenting (the hard work) an inventor discovers something unrelated to what he was working on (the success).
So what am I getting at, you ask. Simply this, in order to succeed, you have to go against your human nature. Human nature is to find the easy way out. Human nature says, I want the reward, but don't make me ask for it. You have to go outside of what it is you want to do and go further. Think on it. Was there anything that you wanted, worked for and got? Wasn't that thing more cherished and celebrated than the thing you were given for free?
I admit, I am lazy and really don't want to go outside of myself. I don't like doing extra work and tend to wait until the last minute to do many things. The fact is, that my biggest achievements and the things I remember the most, are those things that I went after and clung to tenaciously to achieve. Those things that I was able to concentrate on and do to the best of my ability and hold up as what I could do. It was those successes that I like to look on. The stuff I got lucky with, I really don't remember (that may also be because I don't get lucky to often).
Ask yourself this, am I waiting on luck, or chasing success? The first does nothing, the second gets you there. The funny thing is, when you chase success, you may not end up where you thought you were headed. The great thing about that is that the new place may be better than where you thought you wanted to go.
I am not talking about monetary success alone. Whatever it is you want success at requires effort. If you want a long and successful marriage, you have to work at it. You can't just sit back and let it happen, you'll end up with a roommate instead of a spouse. If you want your kids to grow up right and happy, you have to work at it. You have to discipline them, teach them, and spend time with them. If you sit on the couch and ignore them, they become the kids you complain about at the store. You get the picture. If you are living life under the assumption that you deserve something because of who you are for no effort, then you need to reevaluate your life. People who believe that have a name, spoiled brats. If you define yourself by the success of others (Do you know who my daddy is?; I work for ___), then you are a nobody.
I may have ranted and gone off the dep end a bit here, but there is a worthwhile point. Your successes define you. I hope that people can recognize me as a good husband and father and that that is how they define me. I don't want who I am to be defined as a good sailor or a good inspector and nothing else. Don't get me wrong, I would appreciate those definitions, but the definition I strive for is great husband and father. How are you defined? How do you want to be defined? Do they match? If not, why not? What can you do to make it happen?
That's all for today. Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.
Well said. It is refreshing to hear the “bare bones” to achieving ‘success’. A few things came to mind as I read through your note.
ReplyDeleteAfter I had spinal surgery, the nurse came in and said, “you are lucky.” The surgery was quite risky, and I had prepared a ton of uplifting spiritual musical songs to listen to throughout the night (since they don’t let you sleep for precautions). The word “luck” unfortunately has many Biblical scholars with the perception that loosely translates to “Lucifer smiling upon....” When the nurse used this phrase, I said I’d rather be referred to being fortunate.
I once heard a quote that said, “a person will work harder to regain something that he has lost, rather than work as hard to gain something he never had.” Quite interesting, and most often true. For me, when the AC died in my home, I fixed it under 24 hours (welcome to the internet, YouTube, and years of repairing lots of odd things.) When my car died, I used the truck, and had a replacement in about a week. Think of the many people that have no home or motorized transpiration. I sometimes wonder what fails to motivate them to achieve more.
In psychological circles, and the “bleeding” messages continue into business motivation, sales techniques and beyond. People are basically “intrinsically motivated” (internally motivated), or “extrinsically motivated.” We can never he 100% in charge of either, but the basic concept attempts to suggest that those that have a drive within them, achieve their goals. Those that feel the world controls their destiny often fail to take ownership of their goals and achieve fewer results. Taken to the extreme however is dangerous. No one has full control of all elements. We learn, grow, and through our diligence we find others with similar motivation, skills, and drive. At the university level, this is so evident. The “high achievers” are often “picked” by all, but usually pick other “high achievers.” So true is the accolades in life.
Cheers,
Joe