The first day of school.

          The school year is starting again.  Today is the first day of school for my family here in western Washington.  While the kids debate whether to mourn the end of summer vacation or if school should be celebrated, mom is not so quietly dancing in the corner.  Those of you with school age children understand the sentiment.  As much as you love the pains in our rears, by month 2 of summer vacation you are ready for them to be out of your house.  You look forward to having the house free of that many mouths screaming for attention, reduced noise level that doesn't mean you should worry, and one less voice at 10 am asking, "what's for lunch?"
          I know my wife is jumping for joy.  She actually smiled when she asked me to remind her to set her alarm.  The kids, on the other hand, are indifferent.  They get to see their friends, but they are back in school.  I remember sarting off each school year with a bit of confusion as I had to learn all about new teachers and new classrooms.  Then the first day actually started and I had to jump into learning.  The funny thing is that is all I really remember about the first day of school.  I look forward to hearing how the day went with them when I get home.
          I am still a bit out of it so I think I will call this post done for now.  Thanks for reading and, as always have a great day.

Fireworks, the 4th, and the traffic

           What a week!  I look back over the past week and I realize just how busy I have been.  I didn't even have a hour to fix my truck until Sunday and I knew what I needed to do for over a week.  That's what happens when family visits.
            I have a question.  Who is planning on going to a public fireworks display?  Personnaly, I don't want to go to one because it is a pain in the rear.  If I can find a spot nearby that I can see the display from, then I would rather go there.  The reason is that when you go to a public display you find that everyone else went as well.  Either you arrive hours ahead of time and stake out your spot, which means your car is now blocked in and you also don't get to leave for hours afterward, or you arrive just beofre it starts, walk a mile to get to a decent spot, hope that you can actually sit (with 8 people this year, not going to be easy), then try to navigate the crowd on your way out.  No matter how you look at it, is 15 minutes of fireworks really worth the hassle?  Maybe if we planned on meeting a couple of families there it may be worth it, but I just don't see it as worth it with what we have to deal with.
            Don't get me wrong, I love seeing fireworks, I just don't like all the problems that come with it.  At least if we stay close to home, the boys can go inside if they get scared or decide they are too tired.  I just don't want to go.  I want a couple of days at home without running in circles.  Is it too much to ask to have a holiday at home with my family without pressure to run somewhere for some reason?  Oh well, making hte wife happy is important too.
             Other than the fireworks dilema, I really am looking forward to the 4th.  I am making homemade ice cream again this year (strawberry this time).  We are planning on going traditional with burgers and hot dogs.  I have a few fireworks to light off at home and of course, we have games to play.  So much fun.  I hope you have a wonderful 4th.  Tomorrow will be my last post of the week due to the holiday and the wierdness of my schedule.
           Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

What was I typing? Or ahfalswgljkhdsa

           I've been told that I am weird.  My response is always the same.  What's your point?  I know it, my family knows it, my friends know it, and now you do to.  Actually, anyone who has read any post of mine knows it.  I have a tendancy to overstate stuff, go off the deep end, and just plain ramble.  I can't help it, it just happens.  I'll start typing and the words just flow out.  Sometimes they make sense and others, well, not so much.  What it all comes down to is the simple filling of white space.  Sometimes that is all my blog is.  I fill the white space on the screen with words and sometimes coherent thought (although that tends to happen less often than I would like).
          As you've probably guessed by now, today's post isn't really about anything.  Thoday is one of those random thoughts days.  The kind of day where even I don't fully understand the point of the post or even what I am going to type next.  My philosophy is to just go with it and see what happens.  Kind of like taking a shotgun target shooting.  You save time by tearing up targets with fewer shots than someone with, say,a .22.  Not to mention the boom is slightly more satisfying.  But I digress, then again, I really haven't had a point from the begining, which I guess is the point so I have been on point and I am confusing myself.
         Wow, just wow.  If you can figure out where I am going with this, please leave it in the comments because I am lost.  I think that since I have lost control of this post in a major way, I will stop writing before it gets any more out of hand.  Let me leave you with a final thought (or a first one depending on how you read the post).  Not all is as it seems.  What?  You were expecting something deep and witty?  Did you not read the rest of the post?  Sorry, I didn't mean to fail to live up to your expectations. 
         Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

Lost my mind, please return if found

            Things are so off for me right now, that I have no clue what to write.  It isn't as if there is a lot going on, just that I have no idea what actually is happening.  Take the septic work, for instance.  The system is installed but it hasn't been inspected.  The inspection could happen today, tomorrow, or maybe next week.  Then they have to finish filling in the holes, level the ground and get their machinery out of the way.  It is definitely, possibly getting done this week.  Maybe.  In other words, sometime this month...hopefully.
            As you can tell, I am not exactly centered today.  My mind is trying to go several different directions and I am not even sure where a few of them lead.  All I know is that it isn't helping me write this.  If I were to hold down the period key each time my mind wondered, this post would be several pages by now.  The really sad part is, I have no idea where it wanders off to.  All I know is that I stare at the screen for a minute with nothing going on and then I can continue to write.  I think that this means that I need to stop writing today's post so that I can stare off without the pressure of trying to figure out where I was just at. 
             By the way, if you see my mind out and about with out its body, or vice versa for that matter, please send them home, I would appreciate it.
            Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

What do you see?

        As you look out your window (provided you are lucky enough to be near one), what do you see?  More importantly, what do you notice first?  Think about it, what was the first thing you noticed?  Was it the bird in the tree, or the worn out building across the way?  Was it grass on the lawns or the empty parking spaces in the street?  In other words, was it natures beauty or man made things that caught your eye first?  We all see things differently.  That is a fact of life.  Where some See beauty, others see desolation.  Where some see man made junk, others see art waiting to be set free. 
          Take a junkyard, for example.  In it you expect to find rusty, dented cars, stacks of tires, worn out engines, and mud.  What you don't expect is the flowers growing in the corner or the cherry tree blossoming in the middle.  What about the cars themselves?  Can you look at them and see that one of them may have been a thing of beauty when it was new?
         We tend to do the same with people we meet.  We categorize them and sort them by initial appearance.  We don't think that that guy with the purple 12 inch Mohawk is a florist and regularly volunteers at the local soup kitchen.  We don't think that that girl in the nice suit and shoes that is well manicured and beautiful hair is on her last dollars hoping that the interview she is on the way to will get her a job, any job.  It is our first reaction to make assumptions on generalities regardless of the specifics.  We associate purple Mohawks with punk rock and anarchists and thus anyone who has one is one.  We associate well dressed and manicured people with affluence and assume they can afford whatever it is they need.  Yet if we only look a little closer, we can see that the guy with the purple Mohawk is wearing a name tag and apron for the local florist and the lady's shoes show a bit of wear and her purse is held together with clothes pins and mismatched stitching.
         It is in our nature to place people into categories.  We want everything to fit where we want it to fit.  We define our world by what we've seen and heard and we try and cram everything we know into those definitions.  As an example, if I were to set a recliner next to a standard sized moving box (2'x2'x3') and asked you if the recliner would fit in the box, you would, most likely, say no.  But if you break up the recliner into small enough bits, it will fit (trust me, I have experience).  It isn't about Destroying something, it is about changing assumptions.  When I first posed the question, you assumed I wanted the recliner kept whole.  I did not specify it, yet is was assumed.  And you would have been right, a whole recliner will not fit into a standard moving box.  Change your assumptions into questions.
             We make assumptions because we are afraid to ask the questions.  This is because we either are afraid of looking less intelligent, because we are afraid of the response, or just plain arrogance.  The fear of appearing less intelligent is a self centered fear.  You are afraid of what others think of you.  If you ask the question, you find the truth and maybe you weren't the only one with the question.  If you are afraid of the response you get, you are typically making another assumption.  This one about the character of the person you are asking.  You are assuming that the person is going to respond negatively and cruelly.  Once again, if you are polite when you ask, very few people will respond negatively.  The final is the tough one.  It is when you decide you know what the other person wanted.  You know best and thus, you don't need to ask.  They left it up to you, so why should you ask for clarification.
                I guess what this all comes down to is, find the beauty in everything.  Oh, and don't make assumptions.  Oh, and look at specifics.  Wow, looks like I just rambled incoherently for a while.  Makes for an interesting read I guess.
             Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

My Final PFA

           Yesterday was a somewhat interesting day.  I did my annual Physical Fitness Assessment (PFA) for the Navy.  This involved doing push ups, sit ups, and riding a bike for 12 minutes.  This is supposed to make sure I am physically fit enough to perform my duties (currently, those comprise of sitting at a desk and waiting for someone to need me to watch them work).  I had to do 27 push ups to pass and I managed to get 29 out before I couldn't take anymore.  My shoulder is going bad in case you were wondering.  Today, my shoulder is killing me.  Thank God for pain medication. 
             The great thing is, this is my last PFA I will ever have to do.  This means I am now free to enjoy eating what I like.  No, I am not going to pig out and get fat just because.  I will admit that, yesterday, after I was done, I expressed a desire for "something greasy, something fried, and something sweet and if I could get all that into one bite it would be considered a win."  I am not going to suddenly start eating unhealthily (OK, maybe a little), I am just going to enjoy some of my favorite foods a little more often without worrying about whether or not it will make me fail the next PFA.  This also means, my wife no longer has to nag me about what I am eating (at least not until I go up a pants size).
              There are just so many things I enjoy eating.  Food has become something I am passionate about.  I don't think I could cook for a living, but I sure could go for being a food critic.
              Anyway, thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

Learning about Later.

           Ever wonder what goes through the heads of your kids?  Ever sit back and ask yourself what just happened?  Have you had those situations where you aren't exactly sure how you ended up in your current situation?  If not, then we all envy you or you just haven't figured out how to tell the truth.  Either way, you need help.
          To answer the first, you have to understand that kids haven't learned that there is such a thing as later.  Later to them means ask again as soon as we turn our back.  Later means never if we don't keep asking.  It doesn't mean, well, later.  The importance of that fact is that kids don't worry about later when an "opportunity" presents itself.  If it looks fun, interesting, or different, then the answer is always go for it.  Why?  Because there is no later to worry about.  Thus, thinking is not required.  One of our jobs as parents is to each our kids that later exists.  In this day and age, that job is a lot harder.  Instant searches, emails, text messaging, Skype, the Internet, and 24 hour news all feed the now attitude.  Why wait, get it now.
          This leads to the second question, what just happened?  This isn't due to inattention so much as distraction and the ability of kids to do amazingly complex and stupid things at astounding speeds.  Take yesterday for example.  My 10 year old was doing his homework in his room and my 4 year old was next to him playing with a Nerf gun.  The gun in question was one of the mid range models that has a magazine and takes a decent amount of strength to cock.  I saw him playing with it and thought, "there is no way this can end badly."  Mistake #1.  I then went back to cooking supper.  Mistake #2.  Two seconds later, I hear my 4 year old yell and start crying.  I run to the room and my 10 year old informs me that, not only did my 4 year old manage to cock the gun, he managed to hold it back long enough to open the de-jamming hatch and get his finger caught in it as the cocking mechanism slid forward.  After a couple minutes of crying, we got him calmed down.  He then made sure all of his brothers saw his owie and told them how much it hurt.  Then a minute later, he full on tackles his older brother.
           Which leads to question #3, How did we end up in this situation?  There really is no satisfactory answer to that question.  Think about it.  Are you really ready to admit that it was through a series of stupid decisions and miscalculations?  That is usually how you end up in those situations.  I could go into detail on a personal situation, but I think that you can figure that out for yourself.  Besides, I really don't want to relive that series of events.  Let's just say, getting home was interesting as was the intense headache that followed.
         The great thing about all this is it teaches us things.  At least for the immediate future.  I am sure my 4 year old won't be putting his finger in the clearing hatch on a Nerf gun for at least the next few days.  That doesn't mean he learned about later, just that he learned that putting your finger in that location hurts.  I think later is about perspective.  It takes years to learn the difference between a 10 minute later and a 10 week later.  We can tell our kids all about consequences and results, but unless they learn the concept of later, consequences don't mean a thing.  I try and teach my boys later every chance I get.  "Dad, can we have dessert?"  "Later."  Dad, can we go to (friends) house?"  "Later."  "Dad, can we watch a movie?"  "Later."  I really do love that word.  It is vague and yet conveys a conciseness necessary for the training of children.  At some point I will make sure I share the secret of that word, but I have a few years for that.  I guess I'll write more later.
          Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

Weekends, not so restfull when you fill them.

             This weekend is going to be busy.  It looks like I may have overtime and have to work.  Hopefully, the civilians will volunteer and I can spend the weekend with friends and family. I also have some planning to do as I am heading up the church's brunch for those who serve for the Easter services.  This means I have to plan and coordinate enough to feed about 200 people.  I will have 10 people helping me to cook and serve, I just have to figure out how best to use them and what, exactly, we will be serving.  It sounds harder than it is, I hope.  I have a few ideas and hopefully I can get them into action.  I really need to get to the church and figure out what the kitchen has for us to use and what I need to get provided, I do that Tuesday.  Overall, it should be a fun time.
            As for the rest of this weekend, we are having friends over Friday, going to Friends Sunday, and in between I have a bible study, we need to go grocery shopping, and I need to spend some quality time with the boys.  I fully expect to be exhausted each night when I go to bed.
           Then I get to start the next week with calling for estimates for my septic system.  I still haven't got any and the darn thing needs replaced.  I have so much to do, that the list just keeps growing (I talked about the list a few posts ago.)  Sometime this month I need to get the camper out of storage and get it ready for camping season and the list grows some more.
          Amazing how time off doesn't equal rest and relaxation.  Maybe later, like August when we go on vacation.  Then again, I will be driving and trying to keep kids entertained, so maybe not.  I guess I can get my restful day some time later.
          Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

Procrastination: Not motivated enough to be an art form.

           As I head into today, I do so with a bit of concern.  I have a ton of work I have to get done at home, but I have to work today first.  It all comes down to keeping promises.  I said I would make knee pads for the AWANA games and I have 2 sets complete.  Only 8 more to go.  Unfortunately, that means another 16 individual knee pads which are about a third of the way complete (I have the squares of material cut out).  I still need to pick up the stuffing, make the straps, and sew them all together.  Nothing big, just the basics.  Oh, and I have to go grocery shopping before I start this.  Hopefully I can get out of here early today, but I am not counting on it.  What it all comes down to is, I didn't plan well and put it off.  Procrastination attacks again.  I am working on getting better about it, but I slip a little to often.
         I have heard it said, "never do today what can be put off until tomorrow."  I don't know who said it, but whoever did was obviously trying to get someone else to do their work.  I say this from personally experience (which is why I am trying to get better at doing things right away).  A procrastinator puts things off, not because he doesn't care about them, but because he doesn't want to do them.  He puts it off in hopes that either someone else will do it or that the problem solves itself (it rarely does, by the way). 
          I finally realized this a few years ago when I became a home owner.  At first, I thought the house was OK (I never really loved it, but it was ours).  Then I started noticing things wrong with it.  At first they were small and I kept putting them off.  I would point them out to my wife and say things like, "I'll get to it," or "but that's for later."  There was always something more important or some other reason.  It wasn't until I stared at the same problem for a month that I realized no one else was going to do it and it most definitely was not going away.  At that point I realized that I had to start doing something on the growing Honey do list.
          After we completed a few of the projects I noticed a strange anomaly.  Every time I took something off of the list, two more items would replace it.  This would probably be a good time to point out that this wasn't a theoretical list, but a no kidding written list on the side of the fridge.  What started as a quarter page of things (some small one minute items, others massive undertakings), was now a full page with the top eighth scratched off.  The list "mysteriously" disappeared shortly after that.
         The lesson learned from all this is, don't make a list.  It only depresses you and makes you want to do it less.  Tackle each job as you come across it.  If you can wait to do it for a few days because of prior plans, then it must not be that important and didn't need to go on the list in the first place, so why bother.  And that is where you realize that procrastination has been replaced by apathy.
        Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.

Huh?

            Sometimes I get lost in my head,
            When it starts is something I dread,
             I look at the way sun breaks through the clouds,
            Then I fall off the bench and into the crowds,
             What sense does it make when I lose my way,
             None that I noticed, at least not today,

             At least I'm at home when the medicine kicks in,
            And that's just the silly things that start at the end,
            I'm just kidding, this was all just in fun,
            The truth is just crazy and I gotta run,
            Come visit me some time at the place I call home,
            I'd call but the loony bin hasn't got a phone,

            The truth of the matter is something that's strange,
            I haven't a clue or a home on the range,
            Now that I've got you so thoroughly confused,
            Would you like to buy a Kleenex, slightly used?
            And that's the end of this sordid tale,
            Thanks for reading and have a great day as well.

The evolution of my Christmas.

           Things are weird right now.  I have the nagging suspicion that I am missing something.  I either forgot something or am not seeing something I should.  I can't help but think that it has something to do with something important, I just don't know what it is or what it is for.  The worst part is, this vague description isn't helping either.  Oh well, must not have been that important (how many times have I said that only to be proven wrong). 
           You know the holidays are near when everything you do is based on one day a week or more away.  Yes I am talking about Christmas.  When I was single, I really didn't think about it to much.  It was just a day that the stores were closed, there wasn't much on TV and I didn't have to work.  It came and went and I had nothing to worry about.  Oh, I might buy a gift for a friend, but that was one day and not much else.  Then I got married.  Christmas got a little more complicated.  I now had to decorate the house a little bit and get a tree.  Then we exchanged gifts and had friends over for Christmas dinner.  It was still a pretty easy thing.  Not a lot of effort or time was spent on planning or set up.  We didn't spend a lot of time discussing the Christmas budget, we just spent what ever was left after bills and groceries on gifts. 
           Fast forward about 10 years.  We now have four wonderful kids and we have spent the last month trying to figure out what our budget is.  We have tried to determine what we are going to spend, not only on the kids, but on us as well.  We spent nearly a week discussing our families out of state and what to do for them.  Then we procrastinated and didn't do much.  We have scheduled Christmas and planned meals.  We are running in circles trying to figure out what to do while the kids are off from school.  It just never stops.  The sad thing is, I haven't found any other way to make sure our boys enjoy Christmas.  The kicker?  We actually enjoy it a bit. 
           Yup, Christmas is upon us and is rapidly catching up to us.  Pretty soon, we will have to start planning and shopping in October (we already should have started in November, we just procrastinated a bit to much).
           Thank you for reading and have a great day.

Pianos, practice, and regret.

          Good news, I slept well last night..er...today.  Man, being on graves really messes with your language and how you refer to the past.  Anyway, while I was at work...last night, I wrote some more on my story.  You can see the link to the page on the right, it's the only one there.  "The Cleric's Path" is its name, by the way.  Now on to the meat of the post.
          I have a confession to make.  I started typing this post and actually had a large amount written.  It started off as a legitimate complaint I had and turned into a rant on welfare.  I won't mention anything else on it, because you deserve better.  Instead I think I will take a break while I clear my mind and come up with a better topic.
       OK, Got it.  While surfing the net, I found an incredible set of videos.  They are on YouTube.  They are made by a group called "The Piano Guys."  I just spent 3 hours enthralled by them.  As you probably guessed, there is piano playing involved.  The thing that makes it really great (other than the fact that the piano is player is really awesome) is the fact that they don't just play known music, they put their own twist to it and make it better.  Oh, and the second member of the group plays the cello, and makes it cool.  Definitely worth checking out.
         That was just an intro, you see, it got me to thinking.  I used to take piano lessons.  I quit when I was a teenager and was going through that period where I couldn't believe I wasn't the center of the universe.  The fact is I wanted to write music and felt that I knew enough to do it on my own and that I didn't need to practice stuff other people wrote.  So, now I can slowly plunk out tunes and read a little bit of music and have one song I made up that I play over and over and over (just ask the wife).  So that leads me to the "thought provoking" question of the day.  What is the one thing (you can have more if you really want to, like I could stop you) that you regret quitting or giving up?  We all have something we either did as a kid or were made to learn that we quit as soon as we were able.  A secondary question might be, what did we start that we wish we hadn't, but I won't go there.
           That's all for today.  Thank you for reading and have a great day.

Thanksgiving: The turkey isn't just what you eat, it's what you're left with.

           Wow, what a weekend.  As much as I love thanksgiving, I am glad it is over.  As I may have mentioned last week we had a bug going through the house.  All four of my boys had it at one point in the week, but all were over it before the holiday.  Thanksgiving went off pretty well, the turkey turned out all right and the boys ate decently.  As of today, we have exactly 2 pieces of cherry pie left out of 4 total pies (2 pumpkin, 1 apple, and 1 cherry).  In all honesty though, we had to throw one of the pumpkin pies away due to mold (I forgot to put it in the fridge).  My wife got sick Friday and was down all day.  She was mostly over it on Saturday, which was a good thing, because the kids had gone insane by that time and needed to get out of the house. 
            With the sickness going around and the holiday, we realized they had only left the house 1 day the entire week.  This meant that by Friday, they had had enough of each other and were bound and determined to kill each other one way or another.  So Saturday morning, we took them to Toys-R-Us, gave them each notebooks (I took notes for the toddler), and told them they could write down whatever they wanted for Christmas.  They took a couple of hours going through the aisles writing down toys they wanted and now mom and dad have a long list to go shopping with.
             After that, we took them to eat at McDonald's, mainly because they have a playground there and it is cheap.  We let them go wild for about an hour then took them home.  Apparently, that wasn't enough because within 5 minutes, they were at each other again.  It didn't stop until late Sunday night, when we finally sent them to bed.  By then, both mom and dad were worn out.  So as I said, what a weekend.
            Thankfully today was a school day and they all felt well enough to go to school.  I got to make sugar cookies with my youngest and made about 7 dozen so all in all it was a good thing. 
           Well that's about it for today.  Have a great day and remember kids, the day is only cloudy if you look at the sky.  OK, that didn't make any sense to me either, but it is what it is.

Thanksgiving week: Thank God I am Weird.

           It's Thanksgiving week and thus I thought a theme is in order.  I almost went against the grain and picked a theme that wasn't "what I am thankful for," but fate intervened and left my mind blank on alternate themes.  Thus it is that I give you, "What I am Thankful For" week.  Don't you just love how original I am (Please note the sarcasm dripping off that last statement).  To continue, please enjoy this post.
            As you may have guessed, I like to go away from the usual and tend to go for the, shall we say, less normal avenues.  So, while I am thankful for all the usual stuff, wife, kids, health, family, etc., I am going to delve into some of the deeper things I am thankful for.  Not to detract from that other stuff, it is all important to me, it really is, I just felt that i needed to go deeper this year and find some new stuff I am thankful for.
           I think that for me, I really have to be thankful for just how odd I can be.  Think about it, if I weren't a little of center, I would be "normal" and thus would probably not be writing this.  If I were to write a blog (I'm not sure if blog writing is considered a normal activity or not), Firstly, the name would probably be more boring, but I would probably spend the next paragraphs detailing just why I am thankful for my wife (not that I couldn't write pages on it, I just feel that you probably wouldn't be interested.  Feel free to comment if I am wrong.)  The great thing about being slightly, OK, really weird, is that I can engage in thought processes that most people wouldn't touch.  Granted, this may be unhealthy at times, but I find that I am much more creative that way. 
             Being odd isn't just something I am, it has become something I strive to pass on to my sons.  I think I succeeded a little to well with my oldest, but it seems to be working out for the best.  It's like I told my boys, weirdness is inherited in my family, their mom managed to get lucky and have some of it rub off on her.
             I can't imagine what a "normal" life would be like.  Mostly because normal to me, is boring and means being like everyone else.  Sure, I try and blend in every once in a while.  It tends to remind me that failure is something you need to shrug off and is usually an indication that you did something wrong.  I have yet to figure out what that is, but I keep trying none the less. 
             If you have ever wondered what it would be like to be weird, try saying something off the wall for no reason at your next friendly gathering.  If you feel weird about it, well, I hate to say it, but you're normal.  Me, I say something and it isn't until people stare at me with wide eyes and mouths hanging open that I realize that I must have said something weird.  Weird can't be faked (and neither can normal by the way).  I think it is a good thing.  It makes you stand out.  I like to think it is what attracted my wife (I can't think of anything else that would so I am sticking with that until she tells me otherwise.) 
              Being different can be a good thing, especially if it means that you are someone others want to be like.  I can't help but wonder if Einstein was considered weird.  Not that I compare myself with Einstein, not even I am that egotistic.  I like to think that my weirdness is a result of my genius.  I'm still waiting for the genius part to show through, but that doesn't stop me.  Yes, I like being weird and I am so thankful that I am.  If it weren't for being weird, I'd be normal like the rest of you.
             Thank you for reading.  Have a great day.

Living on autopilot.

           Tonight on the way home from AWANA, I witnessed the weirdest thing.  As we were pulling up to a stop light, an ambulance went through the intersection with lights flashing and siren wailing.  Before it even cleared the intersection a Fire engine came up to the intersection with its lights flashing and siren wailing.  As the Ambulance went straight across the intersection, the Fire Engine slowed and made a right hand turn (which happened to be the direction we were going).  The wife and I thought it was weird and speculated that there might be 2 emergencies occurring simultaneously in 2 different areas.  As we approached the next stop light, we saw the Fire Engine make a U-turn (it was a divided road) and head back the way it went.  It was at this point that we realized that the Fire Engine had made a wrong turn (there was nothing between the stop lights that would have needed a Fire Engine).
              This got me to thinking.  What is it about us guys that makes us do dumb things?  Take the previous for example.  You have to wonder whether the driver thought he knew a shortcut, got a bad address and thought the Ambulance driver was wrong, or if he just got distracted and made the turn he makes every day on his way home from work (autopilot). 
               The first one is something we men do as a matter of course.  Think about it.  How often have you heard some guy tell you that he "knows a better" way.  We all do it.  Maybe it's when we are driving, or maybe it's when we are doing some mundane task at home.  We do it for a variety of reasons.  Sometimes, it is just because we think we can shave a few seconds off the trip and sometimes it is just because you said we couldn't.  I never said it made any sense, it just happens.  I can't think of anything we can't make into a competition.  The dumber the better.  And we hate to lose.  That is what us guys call a hint.  Let us win every once in a while.  The odds are that we are right every once in a while.  The more often you let us know that we were right, the less we feel the need to tell you about it.
               The second kinda ties in with the first.  We can't always be right and if we have bad information, we tend to be wrong more often.  Depending on the source of the information, we tend to think others are wrong if they contradict us (note that we may think you are wrong just for contradicting us regardless of the source, it's just the way we are.)  Because of this fault, if we misinterpret or just plain miss part of what is said, we will continue to act on the previous information until we have better information on hand. 
             The third excuse, while inexcusable in this situation, is all to common.  If there is a route or action that we take daily, we tend to do that action automatically.  I know that you women do this to, I have seen my wife do it way to often.  Say we are driving to a store that is on the same route we take to work everyday, the only difference is that we turn off one exit earlier.  As we near the exit, instead of reminding us that we are exiting here, you start talking about how things are going at home.  you just changed our train of thought from "don't miss this exit" to "yes, dear, that's great/sad/bad/etc." We have now engaged the autopilot because heaven knows we can't maintain more than one train of thought on our tracks.  It isn't until after we are past the exit and well on the way to work that you casually mention that we missed the exit.  Yes, we know, it is our fault, we were driving after all.  We understand that you thought we knew where we were going.  We did, you put us on autopilot and autopilot said this was the way to work, so we must be going to work.  The same happens on the way home.  Next time you are out with your guy and he's driving, ask him what the color of the stop light was when you are a block or two past it, I'll bet he can't tell you and that he starts to panic that he just ran a red light.  It was green when we went through it and thus we dismissed it since it held no special meaning.  We didn't have to stop and that was all we cared about.  This is especially true if we are on a route we drive every day.  As long as we are doing what we normally do, we don't really remember any of it.  We did it right, we just didn't bother to waste the memory on it. 
               I think a lot of men go through life on autopilot.  If you think your guy is ignoring you, he may just be on autopilot.  It isn't his fault, really.  It's just the way we are.  If we do something repeatedly, we tend to find the most efficient means to do it and do it that way from then on.  Once we get stuck in a pattern, we have to work to change it.  This means that if you get comfortably into a schedule with your guy, you are well on your way, if you aren't there already, to putting your guy on autopilot.  Once we are on autopilot, we don't remember anything.  Why waste the memory on something that means nothing.  Change it up, make it mean something.  If he can't remember what was said or done, make sure he wasn't on autopilot.
               Have a great day and remember, just because we are responding, it doesn't mean we didn't engage the autopilot an hour ago.

Halloween: Scaring Others Hurts.

         So yesterday was Halloween.  Took the boys trick or treating and they had a blast.  My oldest decided that nothing was going to keep him from going to any house and getting what they were giving.  A few of the houses had some scary stuff going on and he went up.  He may have had his head on a swivel, but up he went.  It was our 6 year old that would stare wide eyed at a house and in no uncertain term inform us that he was not going to that house.  Surprisingly, our 3 year old went to a few scary houses as well.  In all, it was a good night.
         I remember as a kid what trick or treating involved.  Usually, it meant going to my Grandma's house and going around her neighborhood.  Mainly because I grew up in the country and didn't have any neighbors close enough.  Our costumes were less elaborate and usually homemade.  The great thing was, what my mom lacked in ability she made up for with creativity.  I remember the year we went as pirates.  Mom took some pieces of cloth we had lying around and sewed a jar lid ring to the side and placed it on our heads as a bandanna.  thus the jar ring acted as an earring and coupled with our winter boots, torn jeans, and some of her old blouses over our regular clothes, we were quite the pirates. 
         After my Mom passed, things got weird.  Our costume were left up to us to design and make.  this meant our costumes became simpler and less inventive.  Mostly because we waited until we got home from school on Halloween to come up with our costumes. 
         Then there were the years I refer to as my hooligan years.  Those were the years that my friends and I became that group that parents warned their kids about.  The ones that scared the kids hoping they would drop their loot and run so we could get the candy.  Most people frowned on teenagers who trick or treated, we just wanted our share.  I really regret those days.  It is one of those things that I am not particularly proud of.  The most ironic part of it all is, not one kid ever dropped their Candy.  They may have let out a satisfying scream and ran in mid air while spinning in a circle (which, by the way, is even funnier than it sounds), but they never once let go of their candy.  That brings up another pointer for those of you who think that this may be fun to do, never scare a kid that is carrying anything that can be used as a weapon.  This includes, plastic swords, baseball bats, wands, brooms, sticks, or anything that can be swung.  Even though they may break when they hit you, it still stings and the smaller it is the nastier the bruise.  The one thing they won't swing is their candy.  Even if it is in one of those solid plastic pumpkins, they won't use it for defense.  Apparently, the mere thought of losing a single piece of candy is more frightening than that apparition that just jumped out in front of them.  They'll break that sword they just got on your shin, but they won't lose a single piece of candy.
         I guess the moral of all this is to just have fun.  If you want to scare kids, be blatant about it.  Make sure the parents are aware it is going on and be prepared to have a ton of bruises the next day.  Kids can be vicious.
       Until next time, have a great day and don't be afraid to be yourself.

Read the comments.

        Every morning, I read the news on the Internet.  Some of the stories I read because they are new and interesting.  Some I read because they are continuations of what I have already read.  But no matter which one I read, I always look at the comments.  I probably shouldn't, because it just convinces me that there are a lot of idiots out there.  Some people say things that aren't true to get rises out of people (recognized by the way they repeat whatever comment got the worst rating before theirs or by stating the exact opposite of the most liked comment).  Some comments are actually thought out and coherent.  These are the comments I tend to pay the most attention to as they are the ones that reveal the underlying beliefs of society.  Try it sometime, you may find yourself amazed at just how much our society has declined. 
      Take the recent ruling by a judge here in Washington.  The ruling was that the names of the people who signed the petition to put the issue of gay rights on the ballot should be released to the public.  The arguments for and against were heated.  Those for the release cited that you signed at your own risk and thus had no protection.  That they had the right to avoid doing business with those that signed it.  They also said that this didn't constitute harassment or vengeance as it was just a part of the free market.  Those against the release of names cited the harassment that would result from the release of names.  It amazes me that we can redefine things to meet our narrow views of the world.  Granted, I have done this myself, but I also corrected myself when the truth was pointed out to me.  How can you say that choosing not to do business with someone as a result of a petition they signed is not retaliation for signing the petition, is beyond me.  It is a scare tactic.  If you don't sign on the line for the community watch and agree to pay for it, we will ensure you don't get business.  That is a felony as it is a protection racket.  How is that different from saying that because you signed that petition, I will make sure that no one does business with you?  It isn't and yet it is being touted as just the price of a free market.  Amazing isn't it.
        Looking back at what I wrote, I realized I just gave you a second installment of Manic Monday by accident.  Sorry, But I had to say it.  Have a great day and don't let it get to you.

See you Tuesday.

        The wife and I managed to figure out our phone issues.  Come December (the end of our current contract) we are going to shift over to a net 10 phone.  This is due to the fact that we don't use them all that much.  This just makes a bit more sense than a monthly bill and a lengthy contract.  Especially sense we don't know where we will be in a year after I retire.  It just makes sense to have a pay as you go plan that reflects what we use, vice a contract that is more than we need.  The good thing is our number should not change so the only inconvenience will be to us as we have to transfer all of our contacts.  But that is in December and we are still in October. 
       I really don't have a lot to go over right now, so here does nothing.  I am hoping I get off a bit early today as I have been the late guy 2 times a week for the past two weeks.  It doesn't make me any happier that I was here until 1430 last Friday when everyone else left at 1015.  But, then again, it is my job and no one ever said it was fair.  Why have one standard when you can have two.  That's just me complaining though.  It's not like it's a hard job.  Just boring and long.  Makes it all the more annoying when you see others leaving at noon and you are stuck here all day every day, just because you refuse to make up reasons to leave early.  Oh well.  I am sure there is more to it than I realize. 
     I hope to be able to enjoy this weekend.  That may not be possible since they rewrote the overtime schedule.  Turns out this is now my weekend.  If they need military for overtime, I will be one of those they use.  I am currently only scheduled as on call Monday, which usually means I won't have to worry about it.  It isn't official yet though, so I may end up working this weekend.  That sucks a bit because I wanted to take the kids over to Seattle Monday since we just don't have time to do anything as a family with our current schedule.  We'll see how it works though.  I hate disappointing my kids.
     Speaking of the kids, I made chocolate chip cookies yesterday.  Ended up one short of 6 dozen.  If I had been a little neater as I made them, I probably would have had that last cookie.  Oh well, you can't win them all. 
      That's about it for this week.  Just a reminder that, with Columbus day next Monday, there won't be a Manic Monday post (unless I decide to get angry Tuesday).  Have a great weekend and smile at whatever comes to mind.  Enjoy.

Diet Done

        Today is a good day.  I made height/weight standards and can now eat what I want for a few months anyway.  In other words, my diet is over.  I now just have to do the actual physical side of the PFA.  Minimums of 27 push ups, 37 Curl ups, and 100 Calories on the bike.  I should be able to pull an easy 150 calories, it's the push ups and curl ups that scare me.  Right now, my back is aching and my shoulder has been acting up again.  You know, the shoulder the Navy doc's looked at and couldn't find anything wrong so they said there was nothing wrong with it.  Oh well, guess I get to live with it.
     At least I get to actually enjoy my meals for a few months.  Christmas, Thanksgiving, you know the good meals?  Not to mention Halloween candy.  I told my wife I get to make chocolate chip cookies today.  If I get out on time.  Maybe I can use that to bribe my boss to let me out early.  Yeah, I'll mention it.  I don't think he's above accepting bribes.  At least I hope not.
      This has been an interesting week for the boys.  Yesterday, my 2 youngest were down with some kind of minor illness.  Mathew was hit the hardest.  He napped off and on all day.  Daniel was down for about half the day, but was feeling a lot better by the time his brothers got home from school.  I may be coming down with it but I hope not.  I hope the worn out and achy feeling I have is due to my diet for the past couple of days.  We'll see. 
       Not much else worth mentioning.  I have a few things I need to do, so I will call it a post.  I look forward to tomorrow's Happy Hump day post.  See you then.

Happy Hump Day: Yes, Dear.

          Happy Hump Day!  You'd think I'd be happier since it is my birthday.  I'm not.  At first, I was excited.  After all, it is my birthday.  Then I realized that it meant I was older.  Not something I like being reminded of (especially since I am one of the older (if not the oldest) military guy in my office).  Yup, I am now 37.  That's right, 37 years of making mistakes and learning from them.  You'd think, by now, I would have learned everything there is to know about making mistakes, but I find I keep making new ones.  I have heard from some of my more learned (I'll just use that term instead of older from now on, I think it sounds better) colleagues and friends that you keep making mistakes.  Something about no one is perfect.  Seems to me that there can only be a finite amount of mistakes one can make.  Seems logical anyway.  But then you throw in the illogical (i.e. women) and the number of mistakes grow at a rapid rate.
        Just when you think you have the rules figured out (usually just before puberty) you realize girls are interesting and the rules completely change.  No longer is it cool to dig a hole in the ground to bury your GI Joes.  No longer is that ratty game shirt worthy of wearing.  No longer is it better to have your fly open than to be seen with a girl.  Now, you have to figure out what it is women want.  In your infinite wisdom at that age (now a teen), you think you can figure it out given enough time.  By the time you realize that you'll never figure out women (and any man who claims he has is either a fool or was once one), you are either to old to be interested in them (that age right before you die), or you are married to one and the rules have changed yet again. 
          That's right, the rules you used to get her to date you, love you, and then marry you (though not always in that order) changed as soon as she said I do.  At this point every man has a decision to make.  Either you give up and roll with the punches because no matter what you do, you will anger her at least once a week and have to apologize.  You don't even have to be there.  Sometimes, you aren't even remotely responsible.  For example, I have had days where my wife was angry at me all day because in her dreams I did something to make her mad.  How the heck am I supposed to control that?!  Admittedly, she has gotten better about it, now she only gets mad when my dream self blatantly cheats on her. 
           Oh, did I mention that half of the time, they refuse to tell you why they are mad?  That's right, we have to guess.  Us guys, the ones who took three weeks to take the hint that you wanted us to ask you out.  The human beings that still haven't figured out that you want the toilet seat down, even though you've mentioned it for the last 20 years.  Yup, we have to guess.  And that just makes them madder, usually because we end up listing things they didn't know about, but mostly because we aren't telepathic and can't figure out exactly where we went wrong.  Then when they finally tell us why they were mad in the first place, you find it was either something we could do nothing about, something so minor that it wasn't worth mentioning, or sometimes (a small percentage really) something legitimate.  Then you factor in the rule that no rule is set in stone (except that one rule that is that you don't learn about until to late), and you are in trouble.  Yup, we men can't win. 
           That being said, I still have a lot to learn.  As is obvious from my post, I have said to much and now I have angered the one I love.  At least this time I don't have to guess what I did.  I just ranted on the wrong thing, exaggerated stuff she didn't find funny, and talked about women in a manner that some might say is disrespectful no matter how true.  Yup, I am in trouble.  Time to go home and take my licks and do the head bobbing yes dear.  You know the move guys.  The one where you bob your head and say, "yes, dear," in acknowledgement as the woman you love tells you just how badly you screwed up.  You hope to learn from it (I obviously didn't in this case), but you listen and hope you will at least get a good night kiss out of it. 
        Ladies, I hope the lesson you learn from this is simply that, no matter what he says or does, you have more power over him than anybody else in the world.  When you smile, you can get him to do anything.  When you frown and snap, he does it faster though.  Just saying.
        The above was written at an attempt at humor.  Only the author was harmed (hopefully) as a result of this post.  Ignore all resemblance to real life as it is strictly a coincidence.  Thank you.  Have a wonderful day and ...  what?  Yes, dear.