Learning about Later.

           Ever wonder what goes through the heads of your kids?  Ever sit back and ask yourself what just happened?  Have you had those situations where you aren't exactly sure how you ended up in your current situation?  If not, then we all envy you or you just haven't figured out how to tell the truth.  Either way, you need help.
          To answer the first, you have to understand that kids haven't learned that there is such a thing as later.  Later to them means ask again as soon as we turn our back.  Later means never if we don't keep asking.  It doesn't mean, well, later.  The importance of that fact is that kids don't worry about later when an "opportunity" presents itself.  If it looks fun, interesting, or different, then the answer is always go for it.  Why?  Because there is no later to worry about.  Thus, thinking is not required.  One of our jobs as parents is to each our kids that later exists.  In this day and age, that job is a lot harder.  Instant searches, emails, text messaging, Skype, the Internet, and 24 hour news all feed the now attitude.  Why wait, get it now.
          This leads to the second question, what just happened?  This isn't due to inattention so much as distraction and the ability of kids to do amazingly complex and stupid things at astounding speeds.  Take yesterday for example.  My 10 year old was doing his homework in his room and my 4 year old was next to him playing with a Nerf gun.  The gun in question was one of the mid range models that has a magazine and takes a decent amount of strength to cock.  I saw him playing with it and thought, "there is no way this can end badly."  Mistake #1.  I then went back to cooking supper.  Mistake #2.  Two seconds later, I hear my 4 year old yell and start crying.  I run to the room and my 10 year old informs me that, not only did my 4 year old manage to cock the gun, he managed to hold it back long enough to open the de-jamming hatch and get his finger caught in it as the cocking mechanism slid forward.  After a couple minutes of crying, we got him calmed down.  He then made sure all of his brothers saw his owie and told them how much it hurt.  Then a minute later, he full on tackles his older brother.
           Which leads to question #3, How did we end up in this situation?  There really is no satisfactory answer to that question.  Think about it.  Are you really ready to admit that it was through a series of stupid decisions and miscalculations?  That is usually how you end up in those situations.  I could go into detail on a personal situation, but I think that you can figure that out for yourself.  Besides, I really don't want to relive that series of events.  Let's just say, getting home was interesting as was the intense headache that followed.
         The great thing about all this is it teaches us things.  At least for the immediate future.  I am sure my 4 year old won't be putting his finger in the clearing hatch on a Nerf gun for at least the next few days.  That doesn't mean he learned about later, just that he learned that putting your finger in that location hurts.  I think later is about perspective.  It takes years to learn the difference between a 10 minute later and a 10 week later.  We can tell our kids all about consequences and results, but unless they learn the concept of later, consequences don't mean a thing.  I try and teach my boys later every chance I get.  "Dad, can we have dessert?"  "Later."  Dad, can we go to (friends) house?"  "Later."  "Dad, can we watch a movie?"  "Later."  I really do love that word.  It is vague and yet conveys a conciseness necessary for the training of children.  At some point I will make sure I share the secret of that word, but I have a few years for that.  I guess I'll write more later.
          Thanks for reading and, as always, have a great day.