Yesterday was a good day. I ended up playing games with my boys. The best was when I got to watch my 5 year old beat my 9 year old at checkers. He was so excited that he left the board alone until he had a chance to re enact the winning play for everyone. It was awesome. I love being able to teach my sons new games and watching them excel at them. I also love the fact that my boys get along and play well together (most of the time anyway).
This week has been going incredibly slow. Maybe it's because I go on leave next Monday and head for Italy next Thursday. The great thing is I get time with my wife. There are so many things to be thankful for. I find I have very few worries. When I do get them, they tend to fade away rapidly when I think about them a bit. I find that worry, by itself, does no good. When I look at what I worry about, I realize that the worry is based on things that I either have no control over or that can be easily avoided or minimized by what I have already done. Either way, they are nothing worth worrying about. Really, what do I have to worry about? I have the love of my wife and children (which I wholly reciprocate). I have my needs covered. I know that no matter what happens, a way will be found to get through it.
Why worry about what might happen? Why dwell on things that may never happen? The only thing you can do is plan for what will happen. And the only future event of which we can be assured, is death. No one knows when it will happen, but it will come to us all. So we plan for it. I have life insurance and thus my family will be taken care of. I have a will, and thus my material things will be passed on. Other than that, we can try to plan for the possible. Save some money back in case of lean times, plan for vacations, maybe save for your kids education.
I am not advocating ignoring facts and going hog wild (I.E. spending everything you have and taking on massive amounts of debt), but not worrying about every little thing. What this means is, when a worry crops up, you address it and place it in its place. If it is something you have no control over, recognize it and ignore it. If you can do something about it, take action. For instance, if you start worrying that you may not have enough money for gas, set aside an appropriate amount and it is taken care of. If you find yourself worrying that you may be on the list to get laid off, take action. Become that stellar performer and make yourself what you need to be to stay. If you happen to be in one of those jobs that is of the "last hired first fired" sorts, start looking for another job that will take care of you. Do it right, but take action. Action stops worry. Worry is a spectator sport. If you are watching events occur, you worry about how they affect you. If you are actively involved in directing them, you don't have time to worry about them and you can sleep at night knowing that you are doing all you can for a favorable outcome.
There are many benefits to this philosophy. I continually am told that I don't look near as old as I am (I was told this weekend that I looked about 25ish, I am 36). Some of it maybe genetics, but I also attribute it to my philosophy on worry. I used to say it was because I don't care. That was a lie. I do care, I just don't waste my time with worry. Think about it. If you ware worrying, you tend to scowl and frown. This action builds wrinkles and also can affect your health. I used to get heartburn a lot. Since I embraced this philosophy totally (I get to thank my wife for making it possible), I found that I don't get heartburn near as much. It is just so wonderful a feeling knowing that I do what I can to mitigate the worry.
There is a couple of downsides though. The first is that you tend to smile a lot. This annoys other people. You get comments that may be embarrassing or otherwise. You also get categorized as a fool sometimes. It can be perceived that you don't understand the world or how to live properly. This means people may or may not trust you based on the perception that you don't care. I don't understand how care and worry are synonymous, but that seems to be the perception. Apparently, if you don't worry about it, you don't care about it. I believe the opposite, if you worry about it, you aren't caring for it. As I mentioned earlier, worry is a passive verb, there is no action involved in worry (wringing of hands doesn't count). Care, on the other hand, requires an action verb. If you care for something, you must take action to ensure its health. So how can you be inactive (worry) and care for something? Think on it. Try it and see how it affects your life.
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