Happy Hump Day: The Joys of Parenthood?

     Let me begin by letting everyone know that I passed the PFA.  If you want more details, you have to comment.  Now on to the meat of today's post.
     Happy Hump Day!  Today we are talking about the joys of parenthood.  OK, who am I kidding.  No matter how much we love our kids, or enjoy raising them, there is no such thing as "the joys of parenthood."  Think about it.  Make a list of all the activities you loved to do before you had kids.  Now, start crossing off any items that you can't afford to do because of kids.  Your list should be cut in half at this point.  If it isn't, then either you were a really lame couple, or you were a really cheap date.  Now cross off anything that you can't do with your kids either because it's illegal for them to do, or you would be a bad parent if you let them (skydiving comes to mind, but that probably went away in the first round).  You should now be down to just a few activities.  Now, scratch off anything that takes more than 2 hours.  This is about the time you end up with after you figure out how long it will take you to get to your date location and back to the baby sitters so you don't go over that 3 hour time limit.  If you are taking the kids on this event you are also limited to two hours because anything over that and you are no longer at the event, you are the event as you chase your kid in what ever direction(s) (s)he decides to go.
      OK, so what you did as singles, is no longer possible with kids.  That doesn't mean there is no joy, does it?  I mean, you just change what activities you do.  You go to age appropriate things now.  All this means is that where ever you go, you end up watching the kids have fun in a sterile environment, talking to other adults without looking at them (this is mainly because you are all trying to pick out your child from the crowd to make sure they don't kill another kid), while being bored out of your mind.  Oh, and the conversations all go something like the following:
    "So, yeah, we found that...Bobby, you put that down!...anyway, we found that things are a bit cheaper at Walmart, but....No Bobby, you leave her alone....we prefer Target."
    "I so understand....Suzy, you let go of her hair!  I don't care who had it first.."
   "Bobby, stop that, get over here and sit down.  Go on, you were saying,"
   "Yes, I really don't like Walmart either."
     Not really what I would call quality conversation.  It doesn't matter what you start talking about, you always end up discussing where things are cheaper, what place gives better deals, or which museum is more kid appropriate.  When you do manage to have an adult discussion, you inevitably get the kid pulling on your leg and repeating, "daddy," in an ever louder voice until you scream, "WHAT?" at the poor kid.  To which the inevitable reply is a "can I have, (you fill in the item)."  And by the way, when you scream that at your poor kid, (s)he inevitably cries and that single lady that is "cares so much" for kids and has never had any starts giving you the look that says you are a bad parent.
     The only "joy of parenthood" that I can see is when the rug rats are sleeping.  Yeah, they're cute when they do that.  Or, when they discover a new ability, like walking, I suppose that is pretty neat.  Or how about, when they discover they can't do something by trying, like blowing on their own belly.  I guess that's pretty funny.  Or maybe when they snuggle up to you and tell you they love you.  I suppose I might call that a joy. 
       Maybe it is a bit of a trade off.  Sure, I can't go out with my friends every weekend.  Maybe the wife and I don't get to go on long dates to fun and interesting new places.  We just appreciate the quiet times together all the more.  Maybe we don't go to the science museum and get to read all the exhibits and spend hours watching educational films, but watching the kids eyes light up when they get to figure out how a windmill works by blowing on it, is maybe just a little bit better.  Yes, you have to find new ways to stretch the dollar, but now that every dollar counts, you find that you have a bit more to spend on what matters.  Maybe you don't eat out every night, but you learned how to make awesome homemade mac & cheese.
    Yup, parenting changes things.  From the non-parent's point of view, it is a bad deal.  From a parent's point of view, let's just say, I feel for those who don't ever want to have kids.  They are a powerful influence.  They are also a lot of fun to play with.  If a single guy goes into a toy store and buys Nerf guns, he's a little weird.  If a Dad does the same thing, he's fun.  Yup, I love being a dad.  I stand corrected, there are joys of parenthood, they are just different from (and I think better than) the joys of not having kids.
      Hope you enjoyed today's post.  Stay tuned next week for a new one.  Have a great day.