So it's another happy hump day and I have just the tale for you. You see, not to long ago I was reminded of somethings that I had done with my dad and the hilarity that ensued. It all started on a fourth of July.
We had some friends over and were lamenting about the fact that fireworks are illegal in Iowa. I mean, what is the fourth of July without the opportunity to blow off several digits off of your hand or the thrill of putting out random fires with a garden hose. Anyway, as we were sitting there dad cut the top off of a soda can to make a cup to drink out of. Apparently the kitchen (not 10 ft away) was to far to go. As he looked around he noticed the post driver (a cylinder of steel with one end welded shut with about 2 inches of more steel) leaning against the porch.
For some inexplicable reason he decided to see if his new cup would fit over the end. Sure enough, it was a perfect fit. I slid on without any trouble but was tight enough to make a seal. Being the smart man my dad is, he thought, "if I had something explosive in there, I bet I could really launch this can."
I don't know if you've ever been around a man who gets an idea that only he and another man would call good, but let me tell you, you know when it happens. The eyes get big, he sits up straighter, and he takes off for parts unknown to implement said idea. The Idea was what to use for propellant. You see, my dad is a plumber and electrician. He is also a handyman. He did his own welding and steel cutting. This was before plasma cutting was popular. Thus, he had an oxy/Acetylene torch which uses two separate tanks, one of oxygen and one of acetylene. When you turn on the gas to the nozzle, it jets out the gas at the perfect mix. You are supposed to light the gas and use it to literally burn the metal apart. One of the warnings on the rig warns you to ignite said torch in adequate ventilation as it is explosive in combined spaces. Remember how I said my dad was smart? Apparently, intelligence and explosives don't go together to often.
That's when I first heard dad utter the most famous words in the male lexicon, "Hey, guys, follow me and check this out." This is the first and only time I ever heard this phrase from my dad. He proceeded to set up the post driver against the front axle of our tractor so that the open end pointed out over the field. For those of you who don't understand tractor design, the gas tank on most small tractors is above the engine in the engine housing and thus over the front wheels and within a few feet of teh open end of the post driver. Another feature of the post driver I forgot to mention is a small hole in the side about half way up, supposedly so the air inside has somewhere to go when you are slamming the driver down on some poor unsuspecting post. So dad fit his soda can over the end of the post driver that was leaning against the tractor. He then took his torch, took the tip, pressed it against the hole and commenced to fill the post driver with gas from the torch. If you can't see where this is headed bear with me.
After it was filled as he thought was appropriate, he turned off the gas took a match and held it to the hole. The Whoomph that followed, while satisfying, was not nearly as impressive as the 4ft flame and the red hot soda can that came off the end. The can landed after a few minutes (we believe it hit record heights, then again what is the record for launching a soda can from a post driver) torn in two.
One would think once was enough. I mean, a 4 ft flame not a foot from a full gas tank is a little scary right? Nope, dad and his friends (us kids included) started bringing him more cans to launch. We had a pretty steady stream of cans launching. Whoomph after satisfying whoomph. It was an unending barrage. We would recover the cans and relaunch any we thought worthy. Turns out that at the time Mt Dew had the strongest cans as we could launch them about 4 times before they were unusable. Once it got dark, it was even more fun since we could see the flame and track the glowing cans as they arched through the sky. At the time it was fun, looking back you realize why mom had that horrified look on her face for almost the entire time. I also understand now why it didn't become a Fourth of July tradition as we never again lit up the post driver soda can cannon.
No comments:
Post a Comment