Well, it's Happy Hump Day and I am not happy. Went to turn on the computer at home and it refused to work for me. No power, nothing. It was dead. So now I get to look at power supplies for it. Luckily they are pretty cheap. I should be able to fix it myself, I just have to buy the darn thing. I love going into stores and dropping dirty, dusty, non functioning items on their counter and saying, "I need me one of these."
It seems to work rather well. I have found that the nastier it is the better the reaction. I once dropped an oil and grease covered, broken water pump on the counter at a new auto parts store (it was so new that the floors were still shiny) and the look on the face of the cashier was classic. What made it even more enjoyable, was that she had no clue what it was. Have you ever seen a young lady try and pick up a water pump from a 60s era Chevy with two fingers? It wasn't until one of her coworkers came out, saw what we had, and sold us a rebuild kit (this guy was good), that she finally got it off the counter. The puddle we left behind was pretty good sized too. She didn't seem to appreciate it though.
I wouldn't recommend doing this at some stores though. Take a pet store for example. I really doubt that they would appreciate you if you came in, threw your dead dog on the counter and said, "I need me another one of those." You'd probably be arrested. Grocery stores probably wouldn't appreciate it either (I'll leave how that would work up to your imagination).
I have found that "I need me one of those", tends to get you better service than, "I need that thingamajig that (insert function here)." They may have a clue what could perform said function, but it could also be a range of things and inevitably, the first thing they suggest isn't it and is usually more expensive than what it really is. This is especially true if the store has a no returns policy. Add to that the fact that the real fix is probably buried deep in the bowels of whatever it is you are trying to fix and you may as well have an expert fix it. I had a universal remote that was out of this world. Touch screen, multiple commands, awesomeness that made most techies drool. The touch screen got broke (who would have thought with a two year old and a couple of dogs in the house?) So I decided to try and fix it. The new touch screen cost as much as a new remote! I guess sometimes you just can't win.
I remember walking into Lowe's one time knowing the name, size, use, description, and color of an item once (a spanner wrench, of all things). I just couldn't find it. Finally I found an employee and asked for the item by name. I figured, they work at the place, they should know the name, right? Wrong. The look I got back would have made an idiot look intelligent. I then described it. Same look. Ten minutes later, the guy finally led me over to a rack of tools and asked if it were one of those. They weren't it. As I spun around I finally saw what I was looking for. I picked it up and he got this aha look on his face. "Oh, you meant a pin face wrench," and he was proud that he could put a name to it. I returned his previous looks to him and read the label. It said "1-2 inch spanner wrench." Just goes to show, just because you know what you're looking for, doesn't mean anyone else does. Better to just stick with, "I need me one of these."
The thing that really gets me is when you don't actually know what is wrong with said item. You decide that , rather than have an expert (or someone who does it for a living anyway) look at it, that you can do it yourself and save a few bucks. You go into said store and describe said problem to the person working the store. You just made two mistakes. First, you assumed that the person working the floor had any knowledge of the item you are trying to fix. Secondly, you are assuming that anyone with a minimal mount of knowledge could understand your fuzzy (at best) description of the problem to diagnose the cause and give you the correct fix. What makes it worse, is that if you have actually done this once, you will return to the same store when the suggested fix fails and try again. Eventually, you will rebuild the item and get it to work and assume that the last part you installed was the cause. Never mind that you just spent the amount a new and better one would have cost you in the first place, you fixed it. That feeling lasts just as long as it takes for your wife to add up the receipts, by the way. Give up and take it to the experts and say, "it doesn't work, I don't know how to fix it, please help." You may find it humiliating, but believe me, it's better in the long run.
The best part about today's post, my wife won't get to read it until I get the computer fixed. This means that I don't have to tell her I am guessing until after I have fixed it. I get to see what it feels like to seem like I know what I am doing. You all have a wonderful day and remember, I need me one of these, is always a valid shopping plan.
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