Things get interesting as the days go by. Nothing particular, just a random act of philosophy. Now that I got that out of my system, welcome to my Friday post. I really don't have a lot to say today and hope that I can keep from boring you. I am having a bit of trouble overcoming the urge to rant at various articles I read today. I will not mention them, or I will end up going off. Needless to say (note how I am going to say it anyway), I have seen comments enough on them and don't need to go on.
Why is it that we preface statements with useless phrases? Take the phrase, "needles to say," for example. If it truly is a "needless to say" situation, why on earth are you saying it? Obviously it either needed said or you are wasting time. Yes, I know, I am ranting at myself, but who else am I to rant at? Another phrase that gets me (yes, I've said it too) is, "you want the truth?" Of course I do. Why would I want you to lie to me? Or how about, "You want to know what I think?" You obviously aren't asking and you are going to share anyway. What you really want to say is "Here is what I think." If you ask, don't get angry or hurt when I answer, "no." We find all kinds of things to rant about. I know I do.
Looking at what I just wrote, I got to thinking on the lying thing. I thought about it from all sides and realized a lot of things about lying. The first is that people who lie are doing so for a variety of reasons and they are saying many things about themselves and those they lie to. Allow me to elaborate (there's another of those weird phrases).
The person who lies is either afraid of the person they are lying to, or they are afraid of the consequences of what they are lying about. This is seen in a few ways. If you made a mistake or did something wrong, you might be afraid of the consequences and thus lie to avoid facing them. The person who administers the consequences may or may not scare you, but it is the consequences you fear. If you are lying to "protect" someone, you are saying you are afraid of that person's reaction. take the example of being asked if an item of clothing makes something look wrong. If you lie, it is because you are afraid of the reaction of the person if you are truthful and tell them that, "yes, in fact, it does." that reaction could be hurt, or it could be violent. But you are saying that you are afraid of the persons reaction.
Let's talk about what they are saying about the person they are lying to. The first thing is, that you aren't smart enough to figure out the truth. If you think the person you are lying to will know the truth, you usually won't lie. Secondly, they are saying that they don't think you are mature enough to handle the truth. Think about it. If your spouse/friend/etc asks you a question about their appearance, do you lie to "keep from hurting them." What you are saying is that, they can't handle what you really think. Finally you are saying that you are the one that gets to decide what their reality is.
Let's now talk about how you can have people less afraid of telling you the truth. First off, don't ask questions that you are afraid of the answer. Most people can tell. If you do ask one of those questions and get an answer you don't like (take the "how do I look," question for instance), thank the person with sincerity. They are saying they respect your maturity and are trying to help. If you show maturity in your responses and are willing to treat people with respect at all times, it shows and people are less likely to (note I didn't say won't) lie to you. As always, if you make the consequences of errors or wrong doing disproportionate to the crime, you can expect lies. Another way you can garner truth over lies, is to be truthful yourself. Lead by example. Prove what you say by being honest and truthful at all times. It isn't easy. In fact, lies tend to be the first thing that comes to our mind when we are facing tough situations. Just remember, remembering the truth is easy because it actually happened and you never have to rehearse the truth.
This came about after several hours of thinking on it in relation to nothing in particular (sometimes my mind works against me). I can't think of what prompted it, I haven't told any lies recently (I am not saying I am perfect, I catch myself slipping every once in a while, I just can't remember any), and I can't think of any one particular instance where I was lied to that prompted this. It all just sort of started coming to me.
Well, that's it for today. Be honest and think about what it is you say. If you make the truth a daily part of your lives, you will find that it becomes harder to live a lie.
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