It's Happy Hump Day, something I was just made aware of a couple of minutes ago. For some reason I thought it was Tuesday. Apparently, yesterday went so well I thought it was a Monday. This doesn't surprise me. We have all had days sneak up on us. Monday's are notorious for this. You sit there enjoying your weekend and suddenly, it's 11:00pm Sunday night and Monday whispers in your ear, "Psst. You have to get up tomorrow morning and deal with me." Sometimes he doesn't remind you and you wake up to some jerk calling you at 7:00 in the morning on the weekend to inform you that it is not, in fact the weekend and you are late for work. Monday can be a real jerk sometimes.
Then there are the days that are really devious. The sad thing is, they aren't even on the calender (unless you fork out the extra cash to for a personalized calender). That's right, Birthdays and anniversaries. I know everyone remembers their own birthday, but that isn't what I am talking about. I'm talking about the birthdays of the important people in your life. You know, the ones you have to live with. Those are the most treacherous of days. You'll be sitting around enjoying your day (your first hint should be that it is a Monday and you are enjoying it) and suddenly, you find that you are having the "you forgot something" conversation with your wife. If you are like me, this is overly vague and can be highly confusing as I tend to forget a lot of things. That doesn't matter, you are still required to guess exactly why it is that your wife is suddenly angry that you forgot something. And when you do remember, it doesn't matter because she had to remind you. Luckily, I arranged a permanent solution. I married a woman whose birthday is the day after mine and got married two days before my birthday. Thus, when I get close to my birthday, I know I have 2 other things to remember. The downside? I am now required to remember exactly how many years we've been married and I forget that.
Then there are days that are treacherous in other ways. You know, those days that are on the calender and are supposed to be fun and enjoyable, like Thanksgiving. You go into them inviting friends and family, and then find that you spend the week leading up to it cleaning house and panicking on if you have enough to feed everyone. The truth of the matter is, either no one shows up and you have to much, or everyone shows up and you don't have enough. There is no in between. You can plan all you want, put RSVP on the invitations (no one does), or ask in person, but either something comes up and they can't show, or they are suddenly free and everyone shows. I try to plan for everyone shows, after all, who doesn't like Thanksgiving leftovers? That isn't what makes the day treacherous. It's the false idea that it is a fun and enjoyable day. It starts off with the "when are we eating the turkey" conversation. You know, the one where you try and figure out what time to start cooking the turkey. Then you spend most of the day cooking the meal. Your guests inevitably arrive either hours before the turkey is done and expect to eat within minutes of their arrival, or are 2 hours late and wonder why the turkey is cold. Then you spend the afternoon with them as they yell at the TV while the game is on. It isn't until after they leave that you realize that the house you just spent 3 days cleaning is now an official disaster area that will never be the same. And that is when you realize that you have to put away the leftovers and inevitably, someone left the food they brought. Christmas isn't much better, but that is a post for another time.
In other words, when dealing with the days of the week, watch your back, they will turn on you at the slightest provocation. And don't think that Saturday and Sunday are excluded, they can be the worst. You look forward to them all week only to discover they are filled with chores and prior plans (some you don't know until your wife politely reminds you that she informed you of them during last Sunday's nap). I think I need to go, I feel Wednesday sneaking up on me. Have a great week and enjoy yourself.
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