Dad's 2 ton Gun

   Happy Hump Day!  Continuing with the theme this week, I will now regale you with more dad.  The fact that my father is a plumber, electrician, and generally good guy has led to many interesting encounters.  Dad has many acquaintances through this line of work and nearly all of them have the same opinion of him.  This has led to a host of connections that has helped dad throughout his life.  One of the most interesting to me, is his relationship with the district DNR agent. 
       For those of you unfamiliar with this term, the DNR agent is the person responsible for enforcing the fish and wildlife laws.  In other words he makes sure hunters and fishermen don't do anything illegal (which is why most hunters and fishermen avoid the DNR agent at all costs).  It's kind of like when you are driving a fast sports care, you tend to avoid the police even if you aren't doing anything wrong.  Well, because dad does all of his plumbing and electrical, they know each other well. 
      The best example of this relationship occurred my freshman year in high school.  At the time, dad had a 60 something ford truck.  To say this truck was interesting, is to be kind.  The previous owner had hand painted it with house paint a bright blue with a white cab.  From a distance (a mile is about right) it looked OK, up close, the brush strokes really came out, which is fine on a work of art, not so much on a truck.  Anyway, since the truck was built in the 60's, it was made with steel.  Now-a-days safety is based on safety features (airbags, seat belts, crumple zones, etc.), but back then, it was generally believed that what made a car safe was how much damage it could drive away from.  Trucks from the era could probably have taken on a bulldozer and won.  Knowing this, and adding in the fact that we were usually scraping by, you can understand dad's philosophy when it came to what to do when a deer decided to step onto the road in front of him.  Most people slam on the brakes and brace themselves.  Not dad.  When he was in that truck, he would down shift and step on the gas (if he wasn't already at top speed). 
     "More humane to hit 'em at high speed and go for the instant kill," was the reasoning.  So it came as no surprise when dad came home with an 8 point buck in the back of the truck the night before deer season opened.
     Any other day of the year, dad probably would not have informed the DNR.  Since Deer season started the next day and his friend might decide to stop by and see what was being butchered, dad figured he ought to call.  So he called his friend, the DNR agent.  This is the only time I can ever remember him showing up at our place in an official capacity.  He walked around the truck and looked over the deer on all sides.  Did a lot of frowning and finally asked his first question.
   "Any damage to the truck?"
   Dad simply smiled and said, "Think I need to realign my head lights, but they may have been like that before I hit the darn thing."
  "How fast were you going?"
  "Don't really know, I was speeding up at the time."
  "How many is that now?"
  "I don't know, about one a year a suppose, say 5."
  At this point, the DNR agent just shook his head and said, "Alright, I can tell you didn't shoot him, but I really ought to classify that truck as a hunting implement."
   Dad just smiled and shook the agents hand as he left.  From that day on, though, the Truck was called the 2 ton gun. 
   Enjoy your day and have a wonderful week.