So it's happy hump day and I have yet to decide on a topic. I guess it just isn't coming to me. The blank is deep and wide and I just can't seem to find a way across it. Anyway, the fact is that I usually do this at work during a lull in the action (there tends to be a lot of those here), but that also means that I get interrupted and sometimes derailed by other conversations. Unfortunately, today is one of those days where the conversation is either unrepeatable and Thus I am distancing myself as much as possible, or it is on a subject I care nothing about. Either way, it isn't helping much other than to give me something to cite as unhelpful.
Let's talk about cars and the people who drive them. Seems to me that the instant someone gets a driving license they suddenly get a second personality. That nice girl who is always considerate of others becomes a rage filled speed demon that has to take the entire highway. The punk, who is always trying to find new and interesting ways to skirt the laws, is now the highway vigilante that drives at the speed limit next to the grandma who can't find the gas pedal. The law abiding neighbor suddenly finds that the horn has a nice ring to it and is trying to determine exactly the sex of the fly that died on your bumper by using his brights and getting as close as possible.. And it turns out that you are the only one on the road that knows how to drive. You commonly hear yourself saying things like, "the gas is the pedal on the right!" "Look at that speed demon!" "Get off my bumper!" Etc. The funny thing is, everyone is driving with the exact same attitude, "My way is right, your way is wrong, and get off the road." No one is immune. I like to call it, the I-Am-Right syndrome.
I believe it can be traced back to high school. This is that age where you discover that your parents are old and uncool, teachers don't know everything, the world is out to get you, and the opposite sex is worth staring at (among other things). And for some reason, we decided that this would be an appropriate time to introduce these confused, self absorbed, and egotistical beings to an automobile. Who is the idiot who thought of that. Let's put someone who thinks that they know it all, have no fear, and think they will live forever in command of a 2000 pound piece of metal and flammable materials that can go 100 mph. Who else thinks this is a bad Idea. What makes this even more absurd is that we expect people who can barely pay attention to a teacher for 10 minutes to be able to concentrate enough to operate these deathtraps on the road with other people who are the exact same way. So let me see if I got everything. Large metal object with a combustible fuel, traveling at highway speeds, requiring concentration and coordination to operate. Give it to a person that: Has no concept of courtesy, has a 30 second attention span, believes him/herself immortal, and believes that they know it all. Granted, not all kids are this way, but let's be honest, most are. If you think otherwise, try this little test. Give your kid a tennis ball and a golf ball. Have them balance them on the backs of their hands and watch a movie of your choosing. Tell them they have to keep the balls balanced on their hands and that you are going to ask 10 questions about the movie at the end. Make them watch 15 minutes of the movie and then ask them questions about the movie. Make the questions simple like what is the name of the secondary character, or what color car were they driving. This is equivalent to what you have to do while driving. I'm willing to be they can't get all 10 questions right or that they failed to keep the balls balanced. Now for the fun part. Let them do it to you. I am kind of afraid to find out how I do. Especially since I just made all of this up and have no clue how well this works. Sounds interesting though doesn't it. Have a wonderful day.
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